Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Oiler Cats vs. Red Wings...mrraawwr!

How totally awesome is that picture? What would the world be like without google image search? Crazy to think there was a time where google image searching didn't exist.

Allow myself to start with an old joke...stop me if you've heard this...oh wait, you can't...read it, bitch! (That was a bit harsh...wasn't it?-ed.)

The Detroit Red Wings foreign scout flies to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi play hockey in the new American sponsored league, and is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to the US .

Ken Holland signs him to a one year contract and the kid joins the team for the preseason.

Two weeks later the Wings are down 4-0 to the Blackhawks with only 10
minutes left. Mike Babcock gives the young Iraqi the nod and he goes in. The kid is a sensation - scores 5 goals in 10 minutes and wins the game for the Wings! The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted, and the media love the new star.

When the player comes off the ice he phones his mom to tell her about his first day of NHL hockey. "Hello mom, guess what?" he says in an Iraqi accent.
"I played for 10 minutes today, we were 4-0 down, but I scored 5 goals and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me."

"Wonderful," says his mom, "Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street and robbed, your sister and I were ambushed, raped and beaten, and your brother has joined a gang of looters, and all while you were having such great time."

The young Iraqi is very upset. "What can I say mom, but I'm so sorry."

"Sorry? You're Sorry? !!" says his mom, "It's your fault we moved to Detroit in the first place!"

Now Click Here

There...now that we got that groaner out of the way....on to the more important things...liiiiike:

How the hell did we thrash the Avs and come out on top of the Hawks on our roadtrip, but couldn't score a damn goal in Minnie on Sunday? Man. I was hoping to go 2 for 3 on the trip, and I pegged the Hawks game for a loss and hoped for a win against the Wild. It's still the same amount of points earned in the standings...but at least my way the Oil would have stuck it to the Wild-who are chasing us in the standings, far too uncomfortably close I might add. Oh well. I guess it was still a pretty good road trip, all things considered. The Oilers are still in a death grip* of 7th place in the West.

The Redwings come into RX1 tonight. Not sure how I feel about that exactly. I do know the Oilers haven't faired well against the RougeWings this season. Let's see....4-0, 4-3, and 8-3....all losses for the mighty Oil. From a statistical standpoint it's fair to say, judging from the historical final score data noted prior, that the RedWings will likely score a number of goals evenly divisible by 2...and the Oilers will lose. That's what a statististishun would say**...but being that I have no knowledge of statistics and can only rely on my blind optimism as a hard core Oilers nut...I say the Oilers win this game tonight and stick it to the RedWings a la Cup Run 2006. The Oilers are in "Take no prisoners" mode and proved that prior games in the season series mean jack squat by beating the Blackhawks on Friday night...a team that, previous to the last game, had their way with the Oil.
I predict 4-2 Oilers.
Towel Boy, out.
*perilously teetering on the brink of disaster
**no, probably not...you tool.


Tell yourself a little bit about me...