Friday, April 3, 2009

Stauffer Gets His PeePee Slapped

So, I'm sitting at my buddie's place last night mostly losing at poker.  I'm in an entire room full of Flames fans too, I might add.  The TV showing the Oiler game is on in the background but there's no audio.  No audio cuz they don't care about the Oilers like I do.  They just want something manly on in the background while poker is being played.  

So anyways, imagine my surprise when the game is over and I look up and see President of Whatever Operations, Kevin Lowe, speaking to the media in the place where MacT normally holds his post game presser.

With no audio I was left to my wild imagination to decipher what K Lowe could have possible been talking about.  Many things flew through my brain.  Did they fire MacT?  Ok...that was the only thing I could come up with at the time.

So I covertly hopped on my blackberry and checked out Twitter...only to discover a tweet from Dan Tancer saying something about Bob Stauffer getting a text message from Bruce Wayne himself saying something to the effect of "MacTavish is going nowhere."

Ohhhhhhhhhh.....this was getting juicy, I said to myself...and then went ALL IN.  It paid off big...I got the flush card on the river!  The whole time I was raking in my freshly won pot, and chuckling at the demise of two of my opponents, I could only think of how pissed off DK must have been to take the time to slap Stuaffer's weiner. 

I can sort of see Daryl Katz's anger.  Imagine yourself as Daryl Katz.  You're in your beautiful car, driving with your beautiful wife to the hallowed grounds that are Rexall Place; a place of worship which shares the namesake of your vast pharmacutical empire.  Life is good.  You turn on the Mark Levinson sound system in your whip and tune in to the radio station that covers your beloved hockey team.  You want to hear pregame stuff that will give you insight as to how the forthcoming game is going to shake out.... stuff like which direction the zambonis went around the rink, who is in the lineup and who's out, comments from players and coaches on what will be needed to eek out a win....stuff like that .  Fluffy things that make you feel excited to get to the rink get to watchin'.   Only thing don't hear that.  You hear the guy you basically pay to cover your team raggin' on the coach and reporting his inevitable demise.   You say to yourself..."Sweet merciful crap!" and you hop on your phone and fire off a short, but effective, text message to the guy talking trash about your coach.  You can do that cuz you're Daryl fucking Katz.

Now, I'm sure Bob Stuaffer doesn't normally give a shit what anyone thinks of him or what he says....but I suspect there's one dude that can make Bob pucker, and that is The Man himself.  And when The Man personally sends you a curt text message dispelling everything you just spent the last 10 minutes talking about.  You go "oh....shit...boss is mad."

Now, I gotta say...I may not exactly think MacT is the coach of the Oilers' future.  But I also have to say, I don't think we can do much better.  I believe most of the issues this team has are with the on ice personnel.  If I was to go along with firing MacT it would be because sometimes change is good, but I don't think Craig is a bad coach.  This year didn't shake out as planned, but sometimes that happens.  Jason Gregor over at has stated that he believes if MacT leaves, it will be because he resigns and not because he gets fired.  I have to agree, especially now that I know where Katz stands.

Either way, it should make for an interesting summer.  Either because of trades that will inevitably happen, or because MacT throws in the towel.

I have to say also, the season's not over yet...they're not mathematically out.  I'm still hopin' and prayin. ...but I will doesn't look good.  They did show good fire last night though.  Good fire against the best team in the league and they almost got it.  I'm sure Kotalik would like 3 or 4 of his scoring chances/posts back.  Oh well.  On to the next game.

Over and out,

Towel Boy


  1. Strange, what sort of a relationship does Stauffer have with DK I wonder? He got all of the dirt when he was on 1260 & got a job right after DK becomes the boss...hmmmm.

  2. Very curious relationship. Daryl is just another fan like you or I, only he has the power to silence the team's critics. giving them a job and becoming their boss and then telling them to shut it. Muwahahaha. Can't say I'd do any different if I was a cagillionaire.

  3. The truth is, Stauffer is a flown all over the world for moment that D-Katz needs a Kat bed. See what I did there?

    Oh baggedmilk you are too much.


  4. I think you got it right TB. Stauffer is the one media guy Katz trusts and he probably shit himself hearing Stauffer's pre-game show. During the presser, Lowe looked like he had s strip tore off him too.

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