Fotochop Friday

Jeanshorts posted an interesting video link the other day of our old pal Zack Stortini hanging out with some game nerd playing the upcoming NHL10 while discussing the finer points of hockey: fighting and being a pest in the NHL.

I am so bloody pumped about the upcoming latest release of arguably one of the best sports games ever created. So pumped that I whipped out my photochop machine, input a few 1's and 0's and had the machine put Zack Attack on the cover. Why? Cuz Zack Attack is quickly entrenching himself in Oiler fan psyche as a player that bleeds copper and blue. He's like a regular Joe that doesn't possess any amazing talents and has to work extra hard for every minute ice time. He's not a whiny superstar jerk (Read: Dany Heatley) and I think that's why he's so easy to root for.

I don't know if you watch as much Oiler website video as I do, but I can tell you that this summer has been the Zack Stortini show. Between boatloads of public appearances, charity work, fishing, picking garbage and helping old ladies cross the street, Zack has been the Oilers' PR go to guy. I'm 100% positive he does it because he wants to, not because he has to. But that's the type of stuff that wins over fans. He's chosen to stay in Edmonton for the off season and make the city his home. You gotta respect that.

I like Zack Attack. He just seems like such a down to earth guy. He's seems thoughtful and respectful off the ice. On the ice I'm sure he's a bit of a mouthpiece. But that's his game, and say what you will about his fighting style, he backs it up. He's been amping up his off season training regiment and training with one of the best NHL fighters in George Laraque. I think Zack is going to have a wonderful season in both fisticuffs and points and settle into a nice actual full time gig in the nightly Oiler lineup.

The season is just around the corner! I can't wait.

P.S. If there is any takers in the world of PS3 that want to have their asses handed to them in NHL'10 when it comes out...friend me... Cooked_Electron is the name. You've been warned.

R-O-L-A-I-D-S spells "OILERS WIN"

With my pilgrimage complete I arrived home somewhat road weary, but relieved.  Afterall, I had just travelled thousands of kilometers over land and sea to catch the Mighty Oil win a game in person.

After unloading the dog sled, the kid, the wife, the luggage and the 543 flat pack boxes from IKEA, I settled back into my Oilers themed PJ's and Housecoat and went down to the 5th subterranian layer of TBHQ and sat down to watch the game that I had just attended only 24 hours earlier.

Why? Cuz I wanted to see if I could find myself on TV mostly. I could see the back of my head on TV...AND I made it on the Jumbotron during the game too...thanks, mostly, to my fake boobs. 

I also wanted to PVR the game cuz when you view a game in person you miss all those little nuances that make a TV broadcast from CBC such a delight. Nuances like Scott Oake fumbling with preamble for 139 seconds to ask a one liner question and the likes of Mark n' Marc fumbling with player's names and also their illfated attempts to call the play.   "Dwayne Rolofson" anyone?  Straight up quality broadcasting is what I'm all about.

What a game I was at!!!  Well, alright, the win was a nice touch but there were some issues and/or points of concern:

• Sam Gagner can't buy a goal and is in real danger of losing the scoring race with Zack Stortini.  I believe Zack has cut Sam's lead in half now.  6 for Sam.  5 for Zack.  *shakes head*  Sam had some nice looks at the net though and almost sneaked in a nice backhand off the rush.
  
  
• Three shots on goal in the third had me looking for a beer vendor that would sell me a Nyquil chaser for my beer to help calm me down.
  
  
• Dustin Penner looked like he was wearing a parachute out there. I guess MacT saw it too, cuz it didn't take him long to slap The Red Ox on the top line
  
  
• Can Rollie honestly play every game from here to the end? He did look pretty good out there though.
  
  
• 17 minutes during intermission isn't enough time to get out of your seat, line up to get out of the seating area, find a bathroom, relieve yourself, wash your hands, go to a food vendor, stand in line, wait, keep standing in line, wait some more, order your food and beer, wait some more, show your ID to the 19 year old kid working the counter, get your food, slap some condiments on it and  run back to your seat.  I missed Zack's sweet snipe cuz of that.  I had to watch it from the stairwell.  :(
  
  
• I hope Moreau's eye isn't permanently damaged.  It didn't look good.  A guy like Moreau would play with missing limbs and when you see him squirming on the ice in pain...you know it's bad.
  
  
• Sitting in front of two doctors and having to listen to them debate the pros and cons about buying either a Lotus, a Maseratti or an Aston Martin all while the play is going on can be somewhat trying.  They also had a nice convo about the winter cars they've had and which ones were better: the Hummer, the Range Rover or the Porche Cayenne.  *rolls eyes*

In all, I think the Oilers played a good physical, hard nosed game for about half of the game.  The other half they were on their heels and let the Wild take the play to them.  They owe this win to Rollie though...the old man's a gamer.  I liked a bit of what I saw in terms of effort but a complete 60 minutes is going to be required from here on out...from every player.  Nobody can be allowed to take even one shift off.  Not even the nice usher lady in section 120...yeah...you remember now lady?  Remember letting me down into the club section without checking my ticket?  Yah...that kinda stuff won't fly coming down the stretch.  Shape up or ship out.

TB, out

Rocket Stortini

Zachery Stortini appears to be on a mission of late:

A mission to score more goals than Sam Gagner.

Check these stats...

Sam Gagner #89

Kyle Brodziak  Andrew Cogliano  Erik Cole  Jeff Deslauriers  Sam Gagner  Tom Gilbert  Denis Grebeshkov  Ales Hemsky  Shawn Horcoff  Jean-Francois Jacques  Steve MacIntyre  Ethan Moreau  Robert Nilsson  Theo Peckham  Dustin Penner  Fernando Pisani  Marc Pouliot  Liam Reddox  Dwayne Roloson  Ladislav Smid  Sheldon Souray  Steve Staios  Zack Stortini  Jason Strudwick  Lubomir Visnovsky

Season	GP	G	A	P	+/-	PIM	PP	SH	GW	S	S%
2008-2009	51	6

Average TOI:  16:56

Zack Stortini #46

Kyle Brodziak  Andrew Cogliano  Erik Cole  Jeff Deslauriers  Sam Gagner  Tom Gilbert  Denis Grebeshkov  Ales Hemsky  Shawn Horcoff  Jean-Francois Jacques  Steve MacIntyre  Ethan Moreau  Robert Nilsson  Theo Peckham  Dustin Penner  Fernando Pisani  Marc Pouliot  Liam Reddox  Dwayne Roloson  Ladislav Smid  Sheldon Souray  Steve Staios  Zack Stortini  Jason Strudwick  Lubomir Visnovsky

Season	GP	G	A	P	+/-	PIM	PP	SH	GW	S	S%
2008-2009	37	4

Average TOI:  6:56

What in Sweet Zeus's Underpants!?!...Zack has 4 goals to Gagner's 6, while playing 14 fewer games and averaging 10 minutes less TOI per game.  Am I reading this correct?  Doth mine eyes deceivith me...eth?

Ummm....who saw this coming?!?

I understand that Gagner has put up more points than Zack...a lot more points....but goals is what this narrow minded and one sided article has focused on.  

Sam is a play maker, so it stands to reason he's going to score less goals than your average sniper.  I get that.  But to have only 2 more than your team's limited minute huggy bear?  That's the worst thing imaginable.  Especially for someone of Gagner's draft position and hockey pedigree.

Perhaps this is the push that Sammy needs to start finishing some of his chances down the stretch.  It already appears lately that Sam has taken a page from the gameplay manual of one Zachery Johnson Howard Stortini:

1.  Crash net with wreckless abandon.  Check!
2.  Fight.  Check!
3.  Dig puck out of corners and cycle deep...maintain solid forecheck.  Check!
4.  Grow 5 o'clock shadow at 9:30 AM.  Ok, gotta work on that.
5.  Use "well umm" and "uhhh" and "errr" multiple times in TV interviews.  Not Required.

Now, there's nothing wrong with a little healthy competition amongst teammates...So it should translate well down the stretch for both players to keep this little goal scoring race going.  I just deep down inside hope Zack doesn't surpass Gagner in goals...cuz Sam's Sophmore Jinxed psyche doesn't need that kick to the ball sack.

The Towel Boy...CBC News.......Edmonton.