Let's DOOOOOOOOoooo THIS!!1!!!!

Ok...so I know I've been a little slack around here lately. It's summer. What do you want from me? This is primarily an Oiler related blog and there hasn't been much exciting Oiler related news for me to force on to you my opinions of said news.

Aside from this whole "douche bag" thing (read: Dany Heatley) this summer, there hasn't been much excitement from 'ol Tambo and his crew.

It looks, by all accounts, that the Oil will be going into training camp with virtually the same roster as last season. Of course a new/old goalie is in net and we no longer have the services of Kyle Brodziak. But aside from that, we can expect the same group of guys to lace'em up for the Mighty Oil. There is still time for Tambo to make a trade or two. We'll see. But chances are good that the roster will remain unchanged.

I think this year is going to be different with this group though. Last summer heading into training camp we (the fans, the media, the coach) had high expectations of this team. We all know how that turned out. But if there's one thing the Oilers know how to do - it's how to not live up to expectations. Whether that means sucking when expectations are high or playing lights out when expectations are low is anyone's guess. This team has shown tenancies to do both.

This year is different for me because I almost don't care about the tiny details. I don't care if Hemsky gets 90 pts. I don't care if Sam Gagner plays the first half of the season like he typically plays the second half. I don't care if Souray's shoulder explodes. I don't care if Lubo's shoulder is healed. I don't care if Horcoff buries feeds from Hemsky or whiffs on them. I don't care if the Oilers get blown out 10-2. All I care about, from the bottom of my heart, is that the Oilers somehow, some way MAKE THE FUCKING PLAYOFFS. I don't care about the details of how they do it...I just want it done. I'm so tired of not caring much about hockey after the regular season is over.

It's been three summers of playoff hockey with zero Oiler content. I can't take another. I need a reason to damage my liver...other than "hey, it's Monday night!"

Oh, and if you dig the picture up there...why not show your appreciation for it by buying the T-Shirt from Jeanshorts & Baggedmilk You can buy it here.

Alright...now...expect to see more shit as we draw closer to training camp. You've been warned.

That Didn't Go As Planned

Sooo...yaaa....right. ...I've got nothing much to say, except that they're not mathematically eliminated yet.  But honestly...even a run of the table in the final games doesn't guarantee squat. So, while I don't like their odds...they're not completely done yet.

I will say this; I thought MacT looked like a hero for putting Zach Stortini out as the extra attacker when he pulled Rollie.  That gamble paid off big time as Zach Attack made a sweet deflection to get the Oilers within one.  Of all the players he could have chosen...he picked old Zack Attack.  Speaks volumes for Stortini's play of late...and not so much for some other so called "talented" players.

...and then the stick measurement call happened...

While the timing for a bad outcome on that call wasn't the best, I believe MacT was 100% sure it was going to go their way, otherwise he wouldn't have made the call.  He acted on what he thought was accurate information and it didn't work out.  Shit happens.  Neidermeyer even admitted after the game that Selanne's stick probably wasn't legal prior to the game and that he was "glad he took care of it before the game."  It still doesn't take the sting away though.

Now it's on to the Sharks.  That should be a guaranteed win.  Right?  I mean the Oilers are behind the 8 ball now.  The collective hockey world has written them off.  That's how they like it.  This "come from behind when you're down and out" scenario is getting pretty old here in Oil Country.  But whatever,  I'm still in it for the long haul...I have to believe they can do it....what else can I do?  I'm too much of a fan and will be until the bitter end.

Now, anyone have some glue?  I've got some broken stuff I need to put back together.


Truly yours,

The Towel Boy

The Willingness To Get Your Hands Dirty

Net Front Presents?

The image above is from the game the other night.  Look at those netfront presents!  It was one of the few times I recall during the game where the Oiler players actually drove to the net looking for garbage.  Great work down low by Hemmer to shovel it out front, Horcoff got a rebound and tried to hammer it home.  Players were shoved all over the place, people were flying into the crease and out of the crease...even Backstrom was shoved into his net from the sheer netfront presence in front of him.  In short...the Oilers mucked it up in front of the net and almost got a puck in the net for it.  It appears to be something that lacks on a consistent basis this year with my beloved squadron.

Penner seems to bee one of the few guys that actually stands in front of the net...mostly on the powerplay, mind you, and mostly because he is told to, but he's there!  I was watching specifically the other night for the Oilers to employ something different in their offensive zone tactics.  Most of the season they seem to think that carrying the puck in the zone and firing the puck around or thru the defender from the half boards, hoping for a rebound, is going to generate a lot of chances.  Well, it mostly hasn't.  Either the half board "skilled player"loses the puck and turns it over or the shot is never taken and the play ends up going the other way with nothing to show for it.  The few times a shot does get thru, nobody is driving to the net to mop up...there's not traffic in front.  It's very frustrating.

Another thing....there's very little retained puck possession in the offensive zone for what ever reason.  Lack of willingness to compete along the boards?  Players that think they can stick handle their way out of anything?  A few cases of Individualitis which leads to lack of team play?A lack of desire to get their hands dirty?  I don't know what it is but the majority of Oiler shots seem to come from the perimeter.

So, that being said?  What do I want to see from the Oilers this evening vs. the Ducks?  Well...throw some fucking hits for one.  I wanna see more of JF Jaques hits that lead to Brodziak shots from high slot with Stortini's ugly mug right on top of the crease.  That's the kind of shit I wanna see tonight.  Play physical!  I don't wanna see (insert skilled forward name here) skate thru the neutral zone, fake slap shot, button hook outside, attempt cross ice pass just inside zone and have the pass intercepted and give up an odd man rush the other way.  I don't wanna see the shit.  I see enough of it watching the Oilers lately.

I also wanna see more images like the picture up there.  Bodies flying towards/in/out/on the net.  I wanna see some gritty playoff hockey where one of our players would put a puck in with his teeth if it meant the Win.  I wanna see the players look and play like they give a shit.  I want them to give me a reason to cheer.

That brings me to my other rant...Yesterday Dan Tencer's blog had an audio clip mixing audio memories of the '06 cup run with interjected pleas of mercy from Gilbert, Grebs, Gags, Struds and Horc.  They all wanted the fans to know that they need our support during the homestand.  They want us to cheer loudly and not boo them.  They want us to know that we give them motivation to play.   Well for fuck sakes.  I don't know why, but that rubbed me the wrong way.  Especially when Horcoff said "fans don't realize..."....  What the fuck do you mean Horcoff?  We realize you're not exactly mopping the floor with your oposition lately.  We realize you, Mr. Horcoff, are practically invisible during the game lately.  We realize you wiff on shots and passes.  We realize you are about to be the highest paid mook on the team next year.  We realize lots.  You need to realize that YOU need to play like you want it and the fans will get behind you.  Until then, expect us to be skeptical of your abilities and desire to win games with whatever it takes.  Give us a fucking reason to get behind you.  God dammit.

Ok... Now, I'm willing to put this rant behind me tonight and ravage a case of Bud Light while watching the game.  I'll cheer loudly and yell at my TV.  I'll even support Horcoff and his bid to get motivated.  I am a fan...always will be...always have been.  I just don't like you questioning my ability to support the team, Mr. Horcoff.  Now...go out there tonight and please play like you give a fuck.  Give me a reason to be happy again.

Sincerely,

The Towel Boy

They Killed The Baby Ewoks

Welp.  Looks like the baby Ewoks died for nothing.

...They play the Ducks tonight....I've got nothing to say right now.

TB, out.

Oiler Cats vs. Red Wings...mrraawwr!

How totally awesome is that picture? What would the world be like without google image search? Crazy to think there was a time where google image searching didn't exist.

Allow myself to start with an old joke...stop me if you've heard this...oh wait, you can't...read it, bitch! (That was a bit harsh...wasn't it?-ed.)

The Detroit Red Wings foreign scout flies to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi play hockey in the new American sponsored league, and is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to the US .

Ken Holland signs him to a one year contract and the kid joins the team for the preseason.

Two weeks later the Wings are down 4-0 to the Blackhawks with only 10

minutes left. Mike Babcock gives the young Iraqi the nod and he goes in. The kid is a sensation - scores 5 goals in 10 minutes and wins the game for the Wings! The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted, and the media love the new star.

When the player comes off the ice he phones his mom to tell her about his first day of NHL hockey. "Hello mom, guess what?" he says in an Iraqi accent.

"I played for 10 minutes today, we were 4-0 down, but I scored 5 goals and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me."

"Wonderful," says his mom, "Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street and robbed, your sister and I were ambushed, raped and beaten, and your brother has joined a gang of looters, and all while you were having such great time."

The young Iraqi is very upset. "What can I say mom, but I'm so sorry."

"Sorry? You're Sorry? !!" says his mom, "It's your fault we moved to Detroit in the first place!"

Now Click Here

There...now that we got that groaner out of the way....on to the more important things...liiiiike:

How the hell did we thrash the Avs and come out on top of the Hawks on our roadtrip, but couldn't score a damn goal in Minnie on Sunday? Man. I was hoping to go 2 for 3 on the trip, and I pegged the Hawks game for a loss and hoped for a win against the Wild. It's still the same amount of points earned in the standings...but at least my way the Oil would have stuck it to the Wild-who are chasing us in the standings, far too uncomfortably close I might add. Oh well. I guess it was still a pretty good road trip, all things considered. The Oilers are still in a death grip* of 7th place in the West.

The Redwings come into RX1 tonight. Not sure how I feel about that exactly. I do know the Oilers haven't faired well against the RougeWings this season. Let's see....4-0, 4-3, and 8-3....all losses for the mighty Oil. From a statistical standpoint it's fair to say, judging from the historical final score data noted prior, that the RedWings will likely score a number of goals evenly divisible by 2...and the Oilers will lose. That's what a statististishun would say**...but being that I have no knowledge of statistics and can only rely on my blind optimism as a hard core Oilers nut...I say the Oilers win this game tonight and stick it to the RedWings a la Cup Run 2006. The Oilers are in "Take no prisoners" mode and proved that prior games in the season series mean jack squat by beating the Blackhawks on Friday night...a team that, previous to the last game, had their way with the Oil.

I predict 4-2 Oilers.

GOILERS!

Towel Boy, out.

*perilously teetering on the brink of disaster

**no, probably not...you tool.

LET'S DOOOOOOOOO THIS!!!

Hokay. The Oilers finally got that monkey off their backs and won a game in OT against the Blues. It was a badly needed win and so too was the extra point in the standings. I would have rather seen the Blues not get ANY points...but...whatever. I'll take it.

Great news! The Oilers head off on a gut check type of road trip with three games in four nights against the Avs, Hawks and Wild. There's even an awesome back to backer in there for good measure. Oh, and an afternoon game in Minnesota to sweeten the pot. Wait...how in the hell is this at all good news for the Oilers?

...yeah...I've got nothing either.

I just don't know how it's all gonna turn out...but I think the one game we SHOULD win for sure would be against the Avs. The Oil should be well rested and they actually won the last time they played in Colorado...oh, and the Avs suck. After that, it's a crap shoot. Chicago has had our number all season and, I'm too lazy to look it up, I can't remember the last time we won in Minnie...in an afternoon game none the less....so ..."yay" on that front.

Well...I've got no choice but to go into this with a "They can do it!" attitude and cheer them on in full force...with full beers. I'll do my part. Oilers, you better do yours!

GOILERS!


With love,

yoB lewoT

AVP - Ales Vs. Predators

Big game tonight.

Huge.

Collossal interstellar battle.  Good vs. Evil.  Ales vs. Predators.

The preds currently sit one big comfy point behind us in the log jammed Western Conference standings.  This is yet another one of those proverbial "4 point" games.  

The Oilers appear to be floundering somewhat of late.  They haven't put forth a solid full 60 minute effort in...well...I'm too lazy to remember.  What I can remember off the top of my head is that they got lucky against Minnie last Saturday and had Rollie steal the show, they laid up a stinker against the BJ's and almost had Rollie steal the show, they got lucky against the Bolts and got an empty netter to make the score look much better than it actually was and of course they blew a 3rd period lead with just over a minute to go against the Flames - only to blow the shootout with ZERO shots on net.  ZERO.  The SHOOTOUT.  Skater + Goalie + Puck.  ZZZZzzero shots. 

Anyways, I think the Oilers are gonna win tonight.  4-2.  Hemmer with the strong game.  We need a big game out of Hemmer.  I think he's gonna bring it.  He seems to like the road games.

Towel Boy