Things that have better chances of happening than the Oilers making the playoffs:
- Me getting mauled in my own back yard by a Howler monkey.
- The NHL decides to move the Phoenix Coyotes back to Winnipeg, writes a formal letter of appology to the fans and refunds 13 years of season ticket dollars to the Phoenix patrons who actually thought Hockey was "neat."
- Sex Panther™ fragrance for men. 60% of the time, it works every the time.
- Jeanshorts hooks up with Evanka Osmak.
- Dwayne Roloson hat trick.
- Tom Gilbert goes on a shopping trip and buys shoes that don't match his top.
- Tavares decides hockey isn't for him and takes up professional lawn bowling.
- Wanye Gretz switches from Bud Light to Big Bear.
- I wake up one morning to discover my pillow is actually edible....so I skip breakfast.
- MacT resigns or is "restructured" out of a job.
What I'm saying is, people...the Oilers are basically fucked. The sheer minute probability that 2 of the 4 teams in front of them in the playoff race blow it and the Oilers finish off the season with three wins is so miniscule I can't even describe it. But you didn't need me to tell you that. I just need to put something up on my blog to keep my editor happy.
Thanks for reading,
The Towel Boy
